Categories: Inspiration

by Audrey Sutton Mills

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Categories: Inspiration

by Audrey Sutton Mills

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In daily ways, we are judged, discounted, and even pitied for glories that only we can affirm. In the end life is too magnificent and difficult for us to give away our elemental place in the journey. – Mark Nepo

How often have you said yes when you really mean no to please others? How often have you sacrificed your time, energy, values, and opinions for others? We are either in a conflict with others or with ourselves. How do you choose?

This is a very personal issue for me, because at my core I love people and am a total people pleaser. I would often choose others needs over my own, say yes to an event and forfeit much needed “me” time, or not fully let my personality shine so that the other person feels comfortable, only later to suffer anxiety and resentment. This is my shadow of insecurity at it’s highest. I want to be liked by all. The challenge with trying to be accepted by all is that you ultimately abandon yourself and sacrifice the things that are important to you.  You dim your light so that others can be comfortable. It is not possible to please everyone and do everything, because you are either choosing to give your energy to someone or something else or you are choosing to be true to yourself.

Especially when you are growing and evolving, there are people who won’t be supportive. They will want to keep you just the way you are or they’ll project onto you how they think you should be, so that they can feel comfortable and happy. This is not unconditional love. Mark Twain said, “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” The people who matter the most will support you on your journey.

In addition, when you are growing and aligning yourself daily with your values and dreams, there will be situations that are not in line with your purpose. It’s a difficult thing to say no to situations and people and say yes to yourself.  There is a struggle either way, so how do you choose?

Either you can be what the other person wants you to be and remain in opposition of your true self, or you can choose to be in opposition with that person and be true to yourself. You can either choose a situation that is not in line with your purpose, or you can choose to do something good for your soul. If someone or something doesn’t light you up, support and excite you, then don’t sacrifice your energy. Life is too short to play small and feel trapped. When you are out of alignment with your values, your purpose, and ultimately your true self, then you are in a struggle with your soul.

Do, say, think, believe and hang out with people who support your purpose and your true self. In addition to people and external circumstances, be cautious of the internal conflict you may create within yourself. Our egos love to play victim, blame, judge, attack, control, and doubt our abilities, but backing your ego is scorning your heart and soul. Along with aligning your thoughts and beliefs with your true essence, value your time and associate your actions with your path and purpose. When you are out of alignment with your true core beliefs, you feel uneasy because you are in conflict with your values and your essence. Continue to bring yourself back in line with your values, your purpose, and your heart.

Meditation helps to clear your ego’s judgments and criticisms of others and of yourself, in order to tune into the truth of your soul and heart. Listen to your heart above all of the other voices. Practicing mindfulness allows you to return to your true nature, so you can hear what your heart yearns for you. This is the work. It’s not easy. It takes daily practice of turning down the volume of your ego’s story and attending to your heart.

You may lose “friends” along your journey or feel like you are selfish or missing out on events. You may get lost in the negative self-talk or the dramatic blame game that your ego loves to hook you in. However, when you are practicing being in alignment with who you are at your core and doing the things that support your purpose, you are building a solid foundation of cherishing and valuing yourself. You feel energized, empowered, and fulfilled.

When you come from this fulfilled place, you can give love to others authentically and in return you can receive it fully. You don’t have to give up on friends who may struggle with the grips of their ego, rather you can see them from a clear perspective, free from your ego’s judgments, and love them compassionately.

To honor and love yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Protect this gift. Take care of yourself and be true to your soul. Continue be in alignment with your purpose and values and appreciate that you are worthy of having it all.

Your heart always speaks the truth…are you listening?

Weekly Mantra: I am choosing to take care of my soul. I am choosing only the actions, tasks, events, circumstances, thoughts and people that are consistent with my values and support my true purpose and dreams. 

* Excepts from Audrey Sutton’s self help book, “The Blissful Bitch, A Journey to being whole, self-love and manifesting your dreams” due in 2014 *


I would love to hear from you! Please post your comments to my blog: www.YummiYogini.com or check out www.YourBlissfulSoul.com

or follow me on Twitter: @blissfulAudrey

or Facebook.com/YourBlissfulSoul

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