What does self-love look like? To me, in a nutshell self-love is about tuning into your heart and listening to it, honoring it and letting it be your inner compass.
So often we do the opposite. We listen to our itty-bitty-shitty-committee instead of our heart and Soul, and let fear and our Ego run the show.
This week, I give you tools to quiet the inner critic and connect to your true Self. In addition, I’ll guide you through a habit for building your self-love muscle and give you a free journal for a dose of weekly self-love.
We all know the itty-bitty-shitty-committee.
It’s our inner critic, our Ego that loves to criticize, judge and blame you. It keeps you stuck in a place of scarcity:
There is never enough. You don’t have enough. You are not good enough.
It often shows up through comparison, judgment, isolation (you’re the only one feeling this way) and negative self-talk.
You know you’re in alignment with your inner critic when you feel inferior or superior to someone or something.
In Dare to Lead Brene Brown shares the 4P’s of being in alignment with our Ego: We protect, pretend, prove or perform.
Just like we have the inner critic, we also have our True Self. Often our inner critic shouts and our True Self whispers. It’s important to get quiet enough to hear that whisper.
My friend Courtney Burg shares in Episode 75 that we all have a light within us. It’s always been there, but life covered it up. Imagine a light bulb that has been covered with newspaper so you can’t see the light shine through. That’s what life and our inner critic does to us.
Our work is to uncover that light.
That light is your True Self – the real you, your authentic self – your soul. Your True Self loves you unconditionally and doesn’t judge you. Your soul is present, graceful, compassionate, joyful, carefree, playful, passionate, energized, open, loving and knows it is part of something greater.
Your True Self has limitless potential and a powerful connection to the divine.
Abundance comes from the highest vibrational energy level of love, security, openness, and faith. Abundance is realizing that you are enough – that you are whole, present, deserving, grateful and lovable.
I’m sure you’ve had moments where you have felt connected to that place of abundance.
How can we cultivate more abundance and connection to ourselves?
It starts with loving ourselves. So, let’s get to the main topic of today’s podcast: SELF LOVE. It’s a trendy topic on social media and Pinterest, but do we really practice it and embody real self-love often enough?
The dictionary’s DEFINITION OF SELF LOVE is: (noun) regard for one’s own well-being and happiness
I have to disagree. I don’t think self-love is JUST a noun. It’s a verb. It’s an action of fostering support of yourself, checking in and asking how are you doing, what do you need and attuning to your heart and honoring how to best support your well-being.
Self-love is the nurturing of your spirit.
My favorite quote from Byron Katie is “It’s not your job to like me…it’s MINE.”
So how do we turn down the volume of our inner critic and turn up the volume of our true self so we can experience more self-love instead of self-loathing, judgment and comparison?
In my SOUL SCHOOL COURSE that launches in April 2020, I guide you to connect to your True Self through the 5 C’s:
· commitment (make small promises to yourself, and KEEP THEM to build self-worth and trust)
· curiosity (rather than having to be right or a know it all, allow for curiosity instead. This lends to creativity instead of being right)
· creativity (recreation is re-creation. Instead of comparison and judgment, allow for creativity and find your happy place that brings you back to your soul)
· celebration (allow and receive it. Life is meant to be enjoyed.)
· compassion (give yourself grace)
When you align with your inner critic and notice yourself proving, protecting, performing or perfecting, take a step back and try one of these 5 ways to connect back to yourself. Let me know how it goes for you too on instagram!
I also promised you some tools and a way to build your self-love muscle. One big way TO CREATE MORE SELF LOVE is through rituals, which are special, sacred acts you do for yourself that connect you deeper to what’s important to you.
I invite you to carve out time to create sacred rituals that connect to your heart and to yourself.
When you can get quiet and turn down the volume of the noise in your mind, you can tune into your heart, how you’re feeling, what you need and who you are.
Sacred rituals help ground you and connect you to your internal GPS to lead the way to how you want to feel and who you want to be.
Through rituals and attunement to your needs, your feelings and honoring exactly where you are, you become more at home with yourself, and know you are enough and this moment is enough. To me this is self-love.
I love Brene, and one of my favorite quotes is, “Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.”
Love is a noun, but it’s not the ultimate destination. Love is also a verb, a constant fostering of the connection to yourself. Give yourself the gift to build that self-love muscle through sacred rituals and quiet time.
I get it, you’re busy. It’s hard to carve out time for yourself. But if not now, when? You deserve at least 5 minutes a day to connect to yourself without distraction. Once you start, you won’t want to stop because it’ll feel so good to be with yourself, know yourself, and meet yourself exactly where you are now so you can listen to and honor yourself.
We all deserve to be seen, feel safe, be heard and be celebrated.
To help you on your self-love journey, I created the 52 week self-love journal, a free way to build your self-love muscle each week through journal prompts and create a sacred ritual to connect to your Soul. Each week, get quiet and reflect on how you’re feeling, what you need and receive some inspiration and celebration.
At the end of the 52 weeks of the self-love journal, you can reflect on your growth, your experiences, your lessons and how you have celebrated YOU!
Good news, you can start any time!
I hope through the 5 C’s of connecting to yourself and through the self-love journal or other rituals of your choice, you become aware of your itty-bitty-shitty committee and release your Ego’s judgment, criticism and scarcity mindset and connect to your True Self, your heart and Soul that knows you have gifts to share with this world, and wants you to love yourself unconditionally.
You deserve this sacred time to love and celebrate yourself.