Last week the guy who tailgated me, – stomped on the brakes. We could have died. I’ve seen it happen before. Thankful hunter was not in the car with me. My action caused a last effect of stress, a buzzing anger and shame that I could be so reactive. It took about 8 minutes for me to shake it off – that’s how much stress can affect us.
How come sometimes you can keep your cool and sometimes you lose it? And how to we stay cool when things get heated and we get triggered?
In my SOUL SCHOOL program I teach called Above the line / below the line. Basically it is a barometer of whether you dipped below the line and are aligned with ego/itty bitty shitty committee/your lower unconscious unaware self or you are above the line connected to your higher self, the abundant, happy soul you want to be.
If you can sit down and do this exercise, it is extremely helpful because each person will have different adjectives and feelings. If you can’t, then imagine a line in the middle of a page. Above this line are all of your happy feelings, emotions – how you feel on your best day as your best self. Below the line are all of your negative feelings, emotions – how you feel on your worst day as your worst self. The line is a barometer to check in with yourself at any time when you feel triggered by something or someone. Sometimes you are slightly below the line, and sometimes you are deep in negativity, and need some extra help.
1. How does it feel to be below the line for you?
We each have specific feelings and emotions, so that’s why it’s important to brainstorm yours – as many adjectives as you can so you can know when you’ve dipped below the line.
Physical – tight in breath and body, shoulders and neck hurt, physical tension, fast heartbeat, headaches, backaches,
Energetic/Emotional: frustrated, confused, exhausted, distracted, down, sad, angry, resentful, stressed, overwhelmed, hopeless, unproductive, scared, insecure, empty, uneasy, haggard, chaotic, grumpy, tired, mean, negative
2. Then, write or imagine how it feels like to be above the line:
Physical: breath is easy, loose in my body, energetic, alive, vibrant, you feel GOOD/sexy,
Energetic/Emotional: happy, productive, loved, abundant, calm, safe, fulfilled, joyful, easy going, peaceful, in the flow, radiant, positive, in alignment, confident, smart, carefree
AWARENESS CREATES CHANGE
Most of us are going unconsciously through our day reacting to things and people, getting triggered which pushes us further below the line in negativity, never checking in ourselves and our needs. Then we wonder why we are stressed, or what lead to our meltdown. And maybe it’s not a meltdown…it just be a bad mood that has been perpetuated because you never checked in on yourself and brought awareness to your body, mind and spirit.
This is a tool you can use all the time in your day to bring you back to your centered place.
First, start with awareness of your physical body. There are subtleties in your breath, tension that arises in your body. The first signs of stress show up physically in your body, like your shoulders creep up to your ears or you clench your jaw. If you don’t check it there, then that stress permeates in your thoughts. You spiral down even more below the line when that one thoughts turns into a story and you recycle that negative story. You may repeat that story and carry all these below the line feelings and energy with you throughout your day. You continue to spiral further below the line. If not checked there, it may even manifest outward towards someone else.
YOU, my courageous soul, are powerful. But you give your power away when you are unconsciously reacting to your triggers.
You may not have control of the weather or the traffic or the co-worker who speaks too closely to you with stanky breath, but YOU have complete control of yourself, physically, mentally and emotionally. But you must be conscious. You must be aware. Isn’t this what we’re all about – we want to awaken, to fully engage in life? not check out.
The more you practice being aware and pulling yourself back above the line, the more you will live a joyful, easy life. not easy as in everything is easy. But easy in the way that you perceive these challenges and triggers. You don’t ruminate over them or let a situation or a person stay with you all day and affect your disposition. Guess what the good news is? This doesn’t benefit just you. Yes, you will be more productive, happier, you will attract positive opportunities and people who are also in alignment with you. Doesn’t that sound amazing! Also, everyone around you will benefit from your new consciousness and attitude.
You are a powerful conscious being! I love this tool – it’s a game changer. I hope this life tool is helpful to you. try it out – give it a shot for a week. It will be hard because it’s new. Keep at it. It’s a practice.
Please let me know in the comments on my blog or leave a review here on iTunes. Thank you for so much for sharing with someone who could benefit from this concept.
I use this tool in my daily life all the time. When I slip, which is bound to happen and unconsciously react to something, I try to show myself compassion and grace, breathe a little deeper and try to let go of what triggered me. This helps to bring me back above the line.
You will slip. You will fall. You will react and retell negative stories that don’t serve you causing you to spiral below the line, but you have the power to bring yourself back to this moment at any moment. In this moment, you can shift your consciousness, adjust your thoughts and change your behavior and attitude.
As Mahatma Gandhi says, “Be the change you will to see in the world.” Change begins with you.