Call it the Ego, your inner critic, I call it your itty-bitty-shitty-committee. It’s a committee because sometimes it feels like there are a bunch of people in your head telling you that you’re not good enough, that you’re not doing enough and that there will never be enough. Total scarcity. This voice sometimes shouts so loud and often, that after a while you begin to listen to it and believe it.
I’m passionate about this subject because we all have that voice. It may say different things and will show up differently in different parts of our life’s journey, but it’s there. Sometimes it can shout so loud, we can’t hear the whisper of our heart and soul that is our true and pure essense of joy and abundance.
It’s not a light subject – I guess nothing on this podcast really is!? But it’s an important one. The itty-bitty-shitty-committee has plagued me in my career, sabotaged romantic relationships and has robbed me of joy. As I learned to be mindful of who shows up in my head, I can start to change the dialogue and sift through the fog of BS and see the truth, returning to my true nature.
Let’s start off with the basics – What the heck is your inner critic?
Ego is the false self – the ego loves to criticize, judge and blame you as well as others. Your ego is always looking to find meaning in every stimulus, in order to protect itself. Your ego always wants more. There is never enough. You don’t have enough. You are not good enough. Your fear-driven ego uses a steady stream of judgments to try to protect you – but this “protection” also inadvertently keeps you from realizing and accepting your True Self.
Brene’ Brown calls the ego a “hustler.” The hustler is like a con man, always trying to convince you to do something that is in his best interest, even if doing that thing may not be in your best interest. Your ego is the hustler that is always comparing, judging and criticizing. The hustler is never satisfied. It wants more, and it’s always hustling and cutting corners to get what it wants. It compares you to others, or how things should be or how they used to be. It is the opposite of in the moment. The ego feels there is never enough, this moment is not good enough and you are not enough. Your ego is fearful, critical and it judges you, but the hustler is not you.
Your Ego typically says “YOU are…” (fill in the blank) not enough, not young enough, skinny enough, talented enough, smart enough, not successful, not lovable, a failure. People and situations can trigger different thoughts are not-enoughness. When I was younger, my ego said, “You’re not thin enough, fit enough, sexy enough, smart enough, not popular enough.” Now it shows up in different ways, “You are not competent, you are a phony, you’re not doing enough, and even sometime, you’re not a good mom.” It is always there. The message just changes.
True Self is the real you, your authentic self – your soul. Your True Self loves you unconditionally and does not judge you. Abundance comes to you, when you are in alignment with your highest energy state and connect with your True Self. Your True Self, or soul, is present, graceful, compassionate, joyful, carefree, playful, passionate, energized, open, loving and knows it is part of something greater. Your True Self has limitless potential and a powerful connection to the divine.
You know you are not in alignment with your True Self, whenever you feel inferior or superior to someone or something – this shows up in our comparing, competing, judging, wishing for something different, beating yourself up, feeling like you’re missing out, or feeling like you are not good enough.
Abundance comes from the highest vibrational energy level of love, security, openness, and trust. Abundance is realizing that you are enough – that you are whole, present, faithful, joyful, grateful, and able to deal with everyone and everything from a place of healthy self-worth, gratitude and compassion. Abundance means you trust that this moment is enough. Its being open and trusting that you will receive what you need and that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. It is being aware and grateful in the present moment, while also letting go of that which you cannot control, and accepting with grace and ease that which you are given. Abundance is staying open and trusting that the Universe will take care of you.
When you align with your itty-bitty-shitty-committee, it will sabotage you and rob you of your joy. It can spin stories like no other and keep you stuck in a very small place and limited thinking.
You don’t grow when you follow the Ego. Whenever I feel stuck or in a limited place, I know it’s the ego. And I know I need to investigate and acknowledge and return to my True Self, which is that place of pure joy and expansiveness. Good things happen when I am in alignment with my true self.
We are our worst enemies and can really only hurt ourselves the most. The stuff we think in our heads we would never say to our worst enemies. Yet we repeat it and say it to ourselves over and over again. But that’s why it’s so important to write it down on paper – because we think and say it silently to ourselves all the time. putting it on paper makes it real. Sharing it breaks the shame.
The most beautiful people are not the ones who are perfect. They are the ones who have had pain and suffering, and rise again. They are the ones who are vulnerable. The brave are the ones who lean into fear and the unknown and share their scars.
It’s a powerful thing when we stop running away and numbing – when we can open our eyes to see clearly, and can feel fully in order to release our inner critic. We can then step into a higher vibrational energy to receive what we want. Our pure nature is love, but our itty bitty shitty committee keeps us so far away from that through fear, shame and judgment.
Joseph Campbell says, “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”
So what is your treasure you seek?