“Intuition is seeing with the soul.”  – Dean Koontz

I received a bunch of tweets, texts, and emails about last week’s blog, and it got me thinking deeply about relationships. In particular, how do you know when it’s time to work on and stay in a relationship or when it’s time to cut the cord and move on?

If your intuition says that a relationship doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t right. Yep, it’s just about that simple. Too often, though, we become confused, numb, distracted, and feel powerless, because our mind is performing mental gymnastics, constantly analyzing, criticizing, and judging.  Our mind shouts, while our heart whispers. Turn down the volume of your ego’s thoughts. It’s time to tune in to your intuition, which is like your internal GPS. Your intuition is the whisper of your heart and your soul, and it won’t steer you in the wrong direction.

Your active brain can process and analyze a lot of information, but it is very often not capable of accessing all of the data in your stored memory or connecting all of the dots in order to reach a fully informed decision. Sometimes, the dots seem to connect intellectually, but there is still a void in your heart, leaving you to feel uneasy. Your heart simply and intuitively knows things the mind can’t grasp.

Staying in a relationship that is not a good fit for you will perpetuate your suffering and internal conflict. You have the choice to either be a fish swimming upstream, fighting the current, too focused on the end result to notice how unhappy your soul is, or you can choose to swim with the current, be present and aware, and make conscious choices that fuel your spirit instead of depleting it. You allow life to effortlessly take you where you are supposed to be and trust that the universe has a great plan for you.

When a relationship doesn’t feel right, let go of the fist-like grip on the outcome and bring yourself back to the present moment. Become quiet and hear the whisper of your soul – it always speaks the truth. Be mindful of your feelings, create space, and listen to what your soul wants for you. Finally, when you make important relationship decisions, make sure that you are sensing your intuition, and not just responding to your ego. Your ego is a powerful hustler that’s always shouting and fomenting fear, blame, and discontent, because it is terrified of change.

When you can follow your intuition and release your Kung Fu grip on the outcome, you create a small gap where you can be aware instead of reactive. From this place of grace, you have the power and courage to continue working on the relationship or lovingly release that relationship. When you learn to listen to your heart and follow your intuition, your life will unfold precisely as it should.

 *Excerpt from The Blissful Bitch by Audrey Sutton, due in 2014 *